Wednesday, September 11, 2013

Been awhile

Since I've blogged.

To say I've hit a funk would be mild, it was more like a ditch someone dug and covered with a pile of sticks and leaves that I feel into.

What's gone from blogging almost every day, now down to blogging once in 5 weeks or more.

I'm not sure what the major turn off was, or is but it's not just blogging that I've felt disconnected from.

Have you ever felt disconnected from your man?

I don't know what started it, but I recently got a feeling of being alone and not understood.

It started with movies of all things.

Boss man has been getting movies from a local library on his way home from work each night while I've had a lot of work I needed to work on and we pass the time watching movies after all the little ones go to bed.

I sit and do my work and listen to the movies and that's how we've been able to spend time together.

But for some reason, the movie choices had me feeling like I don't even know him at times.

I get it. There are girl things and guy things.. and I'm hard to please maybe... but Boss man does the movie picking and he usually gets one for me and one for him but wants me to watch both...

and... I do.. but some of them have me feeling like screaming "What the heck is wrong with you?"

Ha, sounds funny to type, but ladies, if you are reading this - do YOU like all these action, blood, guts and blowing stuff up movies?

I am a horribly literal person, so I see flaws in movies from the start. Unbelievable story lines, holes in the plot where one ounce of common sense would of solved the major problem in the movie from the get go.
Don't even get me started on movies where people go back in time, because those are completely flawed from the beginning...

Boss man has a rule about me commenting or eye rolling on such movies... and I can say I've been spanked for going ON and ON about how flawed some of them are... but I just can't get into something that isn't possible. At least TRY to have some type of scientific relevance... make it believable...

Recently, we watched a movie, I don't even KNOW the name, but the whole movie was nothing but torturing hostages, some type of combat men sneaking around to stop something, blowing stuff up, and fight scenes...

Can I get a big Y A W N here? I feel asleep during a round of automatic gunshots and bombs blowing up, with my work half finished...

I just feel so disconnected to him at these times. He also likes playing video games like this...

Is war really that "cool" to some guys?
blowing stuff up?

I mean honestly, unless I am personally blowing something up, like a firework, I could care less.

Blowing up machinery and people, or towns and buildings? I have zero interest in... and for some reason, I began thinking of ALL the things I have zero interest in that Boss man likes.

I don't know why, but it put me into a funk where I feel like we don't really know one another.

We have actually "known" each other for 15 years.

But do we really?

I guess I'm just being moody or something... it's not like he hasn't brought home a few good movies I actually enjoyed.

He has a tendency to pick what I call "B" movies and there have been a few gems, but anything that's action is just SO predictable and boring that I find it to almost be an insult to intellect.

If we are so different, how do we work?

Sometimes I don't know.

I guess opposites attract?

We have been a bit testy to one another as well. I find myself thinking snarky though or even saying them, most of which end up with me over the couch but yet I can't keep my mouth shut.

There are just these days where I feel like it's just all so silly and stupid... everything... and no amount of cuddling, or even spanking is getting me out of it.

I guess it's not really movies, or anything else but ME in a funk.. and I hope I see some light soon. Maybe I need some alone time?

or maybe I've had more then enough?


  1. Hi CJ :)

    I'm glad you're blogging :) I totally understand the disconnection you mean. I seem to be going through a similar phase, where I just can't find the mind set I need :( but we're working on it :)

    I hate those blow up, blood and gore films, specially ones where one man singlehanded saves the whole planet. But I suppose men will be men and there's always the little boy in them who wants to play war :(

    Hang in there, I'm sure the connection you need will come back to you x

  2. CJ,
    So glad I found your blog! I hate to say this but I also think opposites attract, Lee and I can be very different at times. I actually have been with him 24 years and just the last few weeks, I have come to realize this man knows me much better than I ever gave him credit for and I had no idea. I had been feeling somewhat like you but recently realized I was so wrong. I am sure you will get out of this funk, we all have times like that in our life. This just happens to be your time.

    p.s. I don't like those movies much either lol